Greg Brown
20 December 2017
Kenny Badass Britt


Kenny Britt may or may not make an impact with the Patriots this year. That’s not what I am here to discuss. I am here to give you a peek inside the mind of Bill Belichick and to give you the 5 reasons why the Patriots made this signing:

Kenny Britt is a Bad Boy

Bill Belichick loves himself a bad boy, I think we all know that. Old Billy Badass has quite a history of picking up “talented but troubled” players off the scrap heap. Our man Kenny has had his fair share of off the field issues:

  • He has had car chases with the cops. Have to admit only 20 mph over the speed limit is slightly disappointing:
    “In April 2011, Tennessee Titans wide receiver, Kenny Britt was arrested in his hometown of Bayonne, NJ and charged with eluding an officer and hindering apprehension when police accused him of driving his Porsche 71 mph in a 50 mph zone before leaving the officer. Britt was later found walking on a side street away from his car.”
  • And he followed it up the VERY NEXT DAY with some casual blunts with the boys:
    “A day after those charges were reduced, two plainclothes officers at a Hoboken car wash smelled marijuana and accused Britt of holding a rolled cigar they thought was the source. Britt was wrestled to the floor and handcuffed, and police believed a man with Britt may have disposed of the cigar.”
  • He’s also a millionaire that still knows how to stick it to the man:
    “He was arrested in January 2010 after failing to pay $865 for three outstanding traffic warrants.”
  • And my personal favorite, his 2011 Facebook post threatening retirement and giving Roger the old pork sandwich:
Pork Chop Sandwiches!? Get the fuck outta here!

Yah, I agree Kenny, F*** you Goodell.  Also, spoiler alert but he didn’t retire.

The Two Year Theory

Belichick has a history of signing talented veterans with checkered pasts. There is definitely a method to the madness as well (as to be expected with Belichick). Typically, the player 2 years removed from either a career year or a solid NFL season. They are also one year removed from a significant statistical decline. My guess is the theory is that the “decline” is related to the off field troubles rather than a decline in ability (as is shown by the season 2 years prior). Belichick is banking on a change of scenery, and a change of culture will bring out the best in the player that clearly has the ability to be a contributing player.

Some of the cornerstone players of the Belichick era fall into this category:

  • Cory Dillion (acquired by NE in 2004)
    • 2002 Stats: 1,609 yards from scrimmage - 7 TDs
    • 2003 Stats: 612 yards from scrimmage - 2 TDs
  • Rodney Harrison (acquired by NE in 2003)
    • 2001 stats: 126 tackles - 6 sacks - 6 INTs (made Pro Bowl)
    • 2002 stats: 86 tackles - 2 sacks - 2 INTs
  • Randy Moss (acquired in 2007)
    • 2005 stats: 60 catches – 1,001 yards - 8 TDs
    • 2006 stats: 42 catches - 553 yards - 3 TDs

Then again, more recently, there have been a fair share of misses that share the same trend:

  • Albert Haynesworth (acquired in 2011)
    • 2009 stats: 12 games played - 37 tackles - 4 sacks
    • 2010 stats: 8 games played - 16 tackles - 2.5 sacks
  • Chad Ochocino (acquired in 2011)
    • 2009 stats: 72 catches - 1,047 yards - 9 TDs (made Pro Bowl)
    • 2010 stats: 67 catches - 831 yards - 4 TDs
  • Michael Floyd (acquired in 2016)
    • 2014 stats: 52 catches - 849 yards - 6 TDs
    • 2013 stats: 33 catches - 446 yards - 4 TDs

The Kenny Britt signing perfectly fits this trend. He is certainly a talented player as is evidenced by his career year two seasons ago with the Rams. He signed a big contract for the Browns in the offseason and hasn’t lived up to expectations with a rotating cast of awful Cleveland QBs (shocking, I know).

  • Kenny Britt (acquired week 15 of 2017)
    • 2016 stats: 68 catches – 1,002 yards – 5 TDs
    • 2017 stats:  18 catches – 233 yards – 2 TDs

Belichick is likely thinking the change from a Cleveland locker room to a NE locker room could bring out the best in him, and at the very least, is a chance worth taking.

Bargain Hunting

Nothing gets Belichick hot under the collar like getting “good value” on a player. His typical Friday night consists of going home early, lighting some candles, running himself a bubble bath and scrolling that waiver wire for players like Britt. Less than ONE calendar year ago he signed a 4 year deal with Cleveland worth $32.5 million with a $6.5 million signing bonus. His struggles to produce on the field and the return of fellow bad boy Josh Gordon (“acquired by NE in 2020?”)  prompted the Browns to cut Britt. They essentially paid him more than half a million dollars per catch this year. It is moves like this that make you wonder if the Browns wouldn’t be better off in the CFL.


Once he cleared waivers, he essentially became a groupon for Bill and Robert. The deal he signed is a prorated veteran’s minimum for the three remaining games of the 2017 season with a team option for 2018. Spotrac.com has him listed below as less of a salary cap hit than Andrew Hawkins (bet you forgot he was on the team didn’t you):

0.1 percent of the cap

So the take home points here are:

  • The Browns continue to be the Browns.
  • Britt is very much a high upside, low downside signing
  • If he blows, who cares?

The Schiano Rutgers Connection

Britt played college ball from 2006-2008 under coach Greg Schiano at Rutgers. It is fairly well documented that Belichick already has a soft spot for Rutgers players from the Schiano era. The Patriots have signed or drafted plenty of players from that regime including Devin McCourty, Logan Ryan, Jonathan Freeney, Duron Harmon, & Tim Wright. Now here is where we get to the good stuff **HOT TAKE CLICKBAIT ALERT** Is Bill Belichick is a pedophile sympathizer?

Hot take alert

You see, Greg Schiano was an assistant coach at Penn State University during the same tenure as the infamous scumbag Jerry Sandusky. He was recently announced as the head coach of the University of Tennessee. The fans, boosters and even local politicians were quick to declare Schiano complicit and banish him to the gallows via Twitter threats and Facebook rants. Don’t get me wrong (based on a 10 minute Google search), it is entirely possible that Schiano has skeletons in his closet, but I have a hard time believing it had nothing to do with the fact that the fans wanted UT to hire Jon Gruden instead.

And in today’s day of “trial by social media” and “guilt by association” it isn’t a stretch to make the connection to Belichick. At this point we all know that Bill Belichick is a racist, but could he also be actively condoning the horrific actions of Jerry Sandusky?  I mean the facts are there: he did sign a player, who played under an assistant coach, who coached under a head coach, who also had another assistant coach, who molested children. Open and shut case if you ask me. So grab your pitchforks (Twitter accounts) ladies and gentleman and let’s go hold this man accountable (yell at him online).

Kenny Can Do This

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