POWER RANKING 2017’S HOTTEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

Greg Brown
26 December 2017
Patriots Christmas

POWER RANKING 2017’S HOTTEST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

Some people might try to tell you that Christmas is about commemorating the story of Joseph, Mary, the baby Jesus, and the angels who announced the Savior’s birth. Some might tell you it is a time to rekindle your childlike enthusiasm by watching Christmas movies and waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. Some might tell you it is simply an opportunity to relax and spend quality time with your friends and family. But deep down we all know the truth; Christmas is all about the presents baby. That being said, Patriotsdynasty.info will be the first and only blog to power rank the best presents given and received during Christmas 2017 at the Brown household:

8. Timberland Slippers: I went looking for an ugly Christmas sweater at Walmart and came out rocking the freshest Timbo slippers of the 2017 winter season. They only cost $12 and don’t actually have any brand name on them so it’s safe to assume they aren’t actually Timberlands but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell people they are.

7. “The TB12 Method” by Tom Brady: Typically books don’t make this list but based on a quick skim there are plenty of pictures and not as many words as your typical book. For some reason, Kelly seemed particularly interested in Chapter 6.

Note: If I ever get around to actually reading it I’ll write a post with my full review.

6. Brady Collage Shirt: Is it possible for a shirt to be so tacky that it is actually beautiful? If you stare at this piece of art long enough it will legitimately make your eyes hurt.

5. “How to Live with a Huge Penis” by Dr. Richard Jacob: This was a gift for Kelly’s cousin who is currently a sophomore in college and came with a bit of sage advice. Leave this book on the coffee table in your college apartment when you are having ladies over and sit back and let nature take its course. Make sure the book looks well read with dog eared pages, highlights and plenty of notes in the margins.

4. Color Changing Tom Brady Coffee Mug: This one is actually really cool. This is the first time I have seen one of these color changing mugs but my mind is running wild with the funny possibilities. Turn your volume up for commentary provided by the infamous Mrs. Christine Brown.

3. Dick Towel: Anyone that is a fan of the show Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia probably knows what we are talking about here (video below for reference). "So I’m thinking to myself what do people love more than anything else in the world? They love comedy. Everybody loves comedy. But you have to have functionality with the funny."

2. Brad Stevens DePauw University Jersey: I have been obsessed with sports jerseys since the day I understood what sports were. My letter to Santa from ages 7-17 was pretty much just a continuous list of jerseys of New England athletes.  Why stop at just the Ty Law home jersey when you could get the Ty Law away jersey, the Ty Law throwback jersey and the Ty Law Pro Bowl jersey (yes I owned each of these). Anyone that is a jersey collector knows the never ending quest for finding the most obscure and rare jerseys possible. If you read the front and don’t know the name on the back then you know you found a gem. If you had to personalize the jersey because they don’t actually sell what you are looking for then you know you found a gem. And this jersey here folks, this jersey is a gem.

1. A Patriots 1st Round Bye and 9th Straight AFC East Title: I am not typically a very religious guy but it’s hard not to get those feelings when you witness what you witness.

Brady Jesus

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, Happy Playoff Season, Happy Everything everyone!!

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